As a Stay At Home Mom, How Much Do You Sacrifice?
Nina SayI would like everyone to read this post, and completely forget that I am a young mother. Because even if I had not had my daughter at 18, I believe that there are many things that would have kept me from completing school. Who knows... if I was not a mom right now I might be a completely stupid F*** Up!
My question is, how much have you had to sacrifice to be a stay at home mom? For me the list seems to grow every day.
Do not get me wrong, I love my daughter and every moment I have with her at home makes me happy.
There are just times when I wonder when I will be able to better myself? Here is what is bothering me at the moment:
I have always wanted to be a nurse. Well maybe it was not always about nursing but I have always wanted to do something in the medical field. I got pregnant in the middle of my senior year of high school, at that point in my life I had just been accepted to Fresno State University and was terribly excited.
But do you know what I did? I stayed at home because that university was an hour away from home and I wanted to stay with my husband. This all seemed perfect to me, but as soon as I saw my husband graduate from college I started feeling this lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach.
It has always been my dream to be a college graduate with a fancy degree and a nice house. Of course I have always wanted a family but I had always pictured myself successful first.
It is important to me though, to stay at home with my daughter for as long as I can. So I made the sacrifice to stay home and be mom.
Uneducated, the only thing on my resume is my high school diploma. Mom.
This sacrifice burns me... and I have plenty of reasons for it.
For example sitting home all day is driving me crazy. I cant stand not having the option to get out and feel like I am seeing the every day world that seems to be going on every day without me. I feel like I have not made myself the best person I could be. I am becoming the stereotypical teen mom. (OK, so maybe you have to look at my situation with the presumption that I am a teen mom.)
Will I ever complete my dream? Or am I going to go crazy before I get the chance?
How have you stay at home moms turned your grounded lifestyle into a successful career? How many of you got your degree after the birth of your children?
Is it wrong of me to have this feeling in my gut that I will never have a successful career?
Talk to me. I am interested to hear your opinion.
How much do you sacrifice?
Oh.. and one more thing. This next photo pretty much sums up this blog post:
Reader Comments (7)
I think sacrifice comes with being a mom, whether you stay at home or not. As a SAHM though, yes I gave up working outside the home (I wouldn't call it a career) but employment opportunities will always be there, my babies won't always be babies, kwim?
There are plenty of ways to continue your education from home, or attend part time in the evenings. I've been taking courses through 'distance ed' from a local college and write my exams in a library (the school sends it ahead of time to the librarian). It's worked well for me so far, though it reminds me I should probably pick up a course this fall, yikes (took some time off, which turned into more time off)
For someone "not educated" as you stated, you write really well! I think you sell yourself short! ;)
I am in the other boat as a single mom I have to work. I would love to spend more time at home with Brea, but I have to work. I hope to be able to work part-time within the next couple of years, but by then she will probably be in school. Have you looked in to mommy and me groups and such to get you out of the house more?
Thanks Tenille!
I am going to start taking a few classes but once prerequisites are done, I have to jump head first into the LVN program here.
I am not sure if that would be possible. But no matter what I'll get through.
Thank you so much. You have given me hope!!
Wow you are so strong! I have great respect for all single mothers.
Sacrifice is what mommies do, but it does not have to be who we are. Do not let being a SAHM be the end all. My girlfriend does all her schooling online so she can stay home with her two kiddos and she loves it. Stopping by from MommyPR Blog Hop to say hello and follow, great blog :)
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My mom sacrificed a lot for us. She was also a single parent. She got married when she was 16 (and pregnant). She finally became a RN five years before she died of cancer when she was in her 40's. She did her schooling through community college and nursing was her passion.
Don't wait; if you can go to school now then definitely go. If it means Internet or night courses then do it. If you have a passion you shouldn't have to sacrifice it. Many women have careers and jobs and are still Mommies.
Your little one should be getting ready to go to preschool soon anyway, right? I don't recall when she was born. You'll work it out!
As for what I sacrifice- my education definitely is one. But being a mom was always #1 for me and all I ever wanted to do. On the other hand, though, I really want some education under my belt in the event the unthinkable happens to my husband. I think it's important to think in those terms even if it is scary to go down that road. I'm interested in OB sonography.
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To anyone that finds this post questioning the sacrifices of a parent:
It is not a sacrifice that you chose to have a child; it is a gift and a responsibility. If you feel that you are giving up other things in life as a "sacrifice" perhaps you should not have had children. I was a stay at home parent and military spouse for 8 yrs before I then became a single parent (A dad, raising 3 daughters). I loved and cherished every waking moment being able to spend time with my kids seeing everything they did and learned each day, watching them grow, watching them make mistakes and learning from them. I view my children as gifts granted to me by God to look after and protect and I will never consider anything I have ever passed up or not been able to do as a sacrifice but rather a choice I made to have children and be there for them. Everything I do each day is for my children. After becoming a single parent and having to take my kids to a daycare while I worked was the single most painful thing I have ever had to so. I made a promise to them that life would be better for them. I went back to school and got a degree in computer science, got better and better jobs and ones that allowed me to be there for my children when they need me. I do not like setting at a desk behind a computer every day, but I do it because I have a responsibility not because I view it as a sacrifice and I never will. I am remarried to a woman that was also a single parent and for the last several years all I have heard is about the sacrifices she makes......Well, I have given her an opportunity she would likely have never had if I were not so driven. She has been able to stay at home as was able to quit her job after only a couple of months of us being married. I have never asked for her to do any more than be a good mother and yet 90% of what I hear are complaints. I am now making the choice to relieve her of that duty that she so eagerly asked for and yet complains about. I will be taking my children and we will go back to it being just the 4 of us and I will continue caring for them as is my responsibility.
RAISING and CARING for children is NOT a SACRIFICE it is a GIFT to be honored and cherished.